Halitosis Man Celebrates Birthday
Today’s my birthday and I’m declaring it National Bad Breath Day! Want to join me in celebrating? All of my favorite buddies are going to be here: Bad Breath Bonnie, Morning Breath Charlie, Baby Bad Breath Susie, Dog Breath Rosie, Poop Breath John, Pipe Smoking Paul, and Onion Breath Francis. We’re all celebrating on your tongue today because we know that you usually forget to clean your tongue when you brush your teeth, so we’ll be safe to party all day long. In fact, I’m hoping for a white tongue just like you guys wish for a white Christmas - a coated white tongue with lots of bacteria. The more bacteria the better.
What’s on the menu today? There are lots of great food particles between your teeth where you didn’t floss well. And there will be more bacteria and food molecules in that tartar at the base of your teeth where you’ve got a bit of gingivitis and the start of periodontal disease. Thanks for not practicing regular dental hygiene! It’s your birthday present to me.
We’ll top the evening off with a toast of alcohol based mouth wash. I love this stuff. It tastes great, smells wonderful for a little while, then I, Halitosis Man, and my brothers Morning Mouth Ed and Bad Breath Joe have a wonderful time all night long. The alcohol dries your mouth out so those bacteria can florish! Oh, Boy! Everybody is my friend! It’s great to be a part of anyone who breathes.
